1. Dressing up as Saint Nicholas is illegal in the city of Denverter.
The Dutch version of Santa is Saint Nicholas. Actually Santa is derived from Saint Nicholas. A few days before the 6th of December, men dress up as Saint Nicholas and bring gifts to the children. But what if two Saints meet in the street ? There can only be one! Or what if someone would dress up as Saint Nicholas in July?? The children might get confused! A law, requiring a permit to dress up as Saint Nicholas was clearly needed, and that is what the city of Devender did in their city ordenance.

Artikel 5:38 Verbod Sinterklaas
1. Het is verboden om:
a. op of aan de weg of zichtbaar vanaf de weg, in of op een voer- of vaartuig, geheel of gedeeltelijk vermomd of verkleed als Sinterklaas, op te treden of zich te bevinden;

 

2. Any use of the Swiss flag that might offend the Swiss is illegal

In 1929, during the negotiations of the 3rd Geneve Convention for the Amelioration of the Condition of the Wounded and Sick in Armies in the Field, a Swiss diplomat discovered the Swiss flag printed on a piece of toilet paper. Clearly this was an unacceptable insult to the Swiss, who were so kind to give the world the cuckoo clock, keep our money save, and to lend the reversal of their flag to the red cross.  So, together with all the useful rules of the 3rd Geneve convention, which made WWII so much more pleasant, we find in article 28:

Art. 28. The Governments of the High Contracting Parties whose legislation is not at present adequate for the purpose, shall adopt or propose to their legislatures the measures necessary to prevent at all times:
(b) By reason of the compliment paid to Switzerland by the adoption of the reversed Federal colours, the use by private individuals or associations, firms or companies of the arms of the Swiss Confederation or marks constituting an imitation, whether as trademarks or as parts of such marks, for a purpose contrary to commercial honesty, or in circumstances capable of wounding Swiss national sentiment.

The Geneve convention made it to Dutch law in 1948. One year later, a cleaning company that had been using the Swiss flag for over 50 years was successfully prosecuted and fined after complaints from a Swiss ambassador.  Even if cleaning is not offensive, the fact that it might be offence to the Swiss was sufficient grounds, according to the Dutch Supreme Court.

The law is still in our Penal Code, article 435d with a maximum penalty of 1 month in jail.

3. The use of the number 1312 is illegal

In 2007 a man was arrested  for wearing a jacket with the letters ACAB. The police officer knew that those letters mean All Cops Are Basterds. The court googled the acronym and concluded from the 190.000 hits the term was public knowledge and that the police officer had legal grounds to feel insulted. The man got a fined of 200 euro. His case is still under appeal.

This year, three men were arrested for wearing a t-shirt with the number 1312. According to the prosecutor, this again stands for ACAB, All Cops Are Basterds. Using the previous ruling, they were all fined 330 euro (yes, we do have some inflation in the euro-zone).

The number 18 might follow soon, as the Supreme Court found out through google that it stands for AH , which obviously refers to Adolf Hitler.

4. In Amsterdam, a parking permit is needed to park in your own garage
Note, I am not talking about a building permit or anything related to safety at all. The city of Amsterdam requires owners of a private garage to pay 243 euros for the privilege of parking their car in their own garage.

There are not sufficient parking places on the street in the center of Amsterdam. Parking is metered and expensive, but residents can get a permit to park on the street. You would expect the city to be extreme grateful for everyone willing to spend over 100.000 euros for a private parking spot. Not in Amsterdam.

The official twisted logic is this. For each address only one car is granted a parking permit for the street. If you own a private parking place, you forfeit the right to such parking permit. So the city ‘needs’ to register which car is parked on each privately owned parking spot. For this ‘service’ the citizen is charged 243 euros. Even the city ombudsman, after working for decades in law, can not follow this logic, but the city district council doesn’t care.